I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
