Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
