Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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