Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
