my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
