I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
