Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
