there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
