i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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