piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
