you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
