her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
