WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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