The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
