I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
