You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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