It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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