Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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