Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
are you so shy because you have an std?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
