Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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