It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
