They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
