I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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