he was CRYING into my vagina
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
