hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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