Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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