If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
