Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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