I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
