I must be too annoying 4 u.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
