The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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