I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
