i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
