come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
