Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize