new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
