oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
