lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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