There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I pour the whiskey from now on
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
