you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she smelled like a LAN party
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
