What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize