i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
