This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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