I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
