You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
