We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
