he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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