spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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