My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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