She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ugly people sure do ruin things
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
