i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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