I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
cat food counts as protein by the way
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
