she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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