mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
