Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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