I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
