I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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