im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize